bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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