i may or may not be watching the land before time
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
