he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
