i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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