This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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