Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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