my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
