I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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