Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
