now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize