Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
