I wannas sexs uuuuu
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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