Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
wanna go halves on a baby?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
