can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
