i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
