whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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