Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is Oprah even human
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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