just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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