I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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