It's like God shit irony all over that family
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
