You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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