...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
