chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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