If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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