Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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