I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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