I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
