Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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