i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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