why didn't you poke me back
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
