so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize