How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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