We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
