glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
