i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
