So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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