this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
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She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
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How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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