a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
