I hate all girls vehemently.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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