Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
