Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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