Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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