dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
