He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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