they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
