hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
