your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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