My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
