What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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