christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
