and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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