I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sorry my hands just texted you
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Randomize
