My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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