Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
