its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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