around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I FOUND THE LEGS
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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