smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
