He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
