i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize