i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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