There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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