i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize