I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize