I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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