I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sorry my hands just texted you
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
