I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
