im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
