so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
