So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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