I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
