We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize