so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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