The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
