so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
