my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
No subtext here. People are naked.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
