I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
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i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
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I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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