I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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