Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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