you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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