If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
