yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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