this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
